“True” Mozart Facts

In honor of today being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s 260th birthday, we thought it’d be a good time to share some Absolutely True Facts about Wolfgang A.

  • He’s revered as a musical genius in Germany.  But then, so is Hasselhoff.
  • He composed most of his greatest works while high on bath salts.
  • Mozart died broke . . . thanks to an addiction to scratch-off tickets.
  • He actually wrote the piano intro to “Don’t Stop Believin'”.
  • Even though he’s been dead for over 200 years, he still has a better shot at becoming president than Jeb Bush.
  • The best way to piss him off was to compare him to that Beethoven HACK.
  • Unlike today’s child stars, amazingly, he DIDN’T develop a crippling coke habit.
  • When he was just 14, he composed the opera “Mitridate re di Ponto”, which roughly translates to “Whip Nae Nae”.
  • He gained popularity after his death, which annoyed Austrian hipsters who were into him way before it was cool.
  • His favorite composer was Bach.  Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.
  • He was the first classical composer to utter the words, “Needs more cowbell!”
  • “The Marriage of Figaro” is his most famous opera, thanks to “Bugs Bunny” cartoons.