Reasons You Don’t Ski

January 20, 2016

So…we’ve had the cold temperatures and we’ve got some snow in the forecast this weekend.  Ready to hit the slopes?  No?  Why not?  Let me guess.  Here are some of the reasons you don’t ski.

  • Your weight + loose snow = avalanche.
  • You just Googled “Sonny Bono.”
  • You’re Ben Carson.  And you’ve spent enough time going downhill lately.
  • It requires balance, control, and sobriety.
  • You’re afraid of heights.  And entitled white people.
  • If anything’s going to take you downhill that fast, you’d prefer it be alcohol.
  • You don’t want to hear your uncle ranting about how global warming can’t be real if there’s enough snow for skiing.
  • You know of an easier way to get high in Colorado.
  • You’re Spike Lee and you’re boycotting the snow for being too white.
  • Your physical activity limit when it comes to winter sports is making a snow angel.
  • It could get you kicked out of your rap posse.