January 14, 2016
Well, I didn’t win the Powerball jackpot. I did have the powerball though, so I won, like, 4 bucks. Not enough to retire on. I still don’t have “heck with” you money. Yet. So here I am, still working…like a sucker.
Sure, this may sound like sour grapes, but I’m Glad I didn’t win. Why? Well, for a number of reasons.
• Money brings out family. Enough said.
• I don’t want to have to pick up the tab whenever we go out for the rest of my life
• I’m caviar intolerant.
• That giant check I’d have gotten won’t fit in an ATM
• It would require leaving the house. And leaving the house would require wearing pants.
• A billionaire must wear a monocle and it’s super annoying when those things fall into your champagne whenever you get surprised.