Reasons I’m Glad I Didn’t Win The Powerball Jackpot

January 14, 2016

Well, I didn’t win the Powerball jackpot.  I did have the powerball though, so I won, like, 4 bucks.  Not enough to retire on.  I still don’t have “heck with” you money. Yet.  So here I am, still working…like a sucker.

Sure, this may sound like sour grapes, but I’m  Glad I didn’t win.  Why?  Well, for a number of reasons.

•        Money brings out family.  Enough said.
•        I don’t want to have to pick up the tab whenever we go out for the rest of my life
•        I’m caviar intolerant.
•        That giant check I’d have gotten won’t fit in an ATM
•        It would require leaving the house.  And leaving the house would require wearing pants.
•        A billionaire must wear a monocle and it’s super annoying when those things fall    into your champagne whenever you get surprised.