Good Things About Having Hugh Hefner as a Housemate

January 12, 2016

First they did away with the nudity, now they’re dumping the Playboy Mansion.  The iconic home is for sale and the asking price is $200 million.  But before you start spending your powerball winnings just yet, you should know that the Bunny Hutch comes with a catch.  Just like in a Scooby Do cartoon, a ghostly figure will be with you there in the mansion.  In order to buy, you must agree to let 89 year old Hugh Hefner continue to live there for the rest of his life.

That may sound a little odd at first, but I’m sure there’s an upside.  For example:

  • He always wipes up after an orgy
  • If you run out of silk pajamas, he’s got closets full
  • Lots of old Playboys in the bathroom to flip through
  • Having a baby? Plenty of diapers on hand!
  • Won’t flirt with your wife unless she’s under the age of 20
  • Emergency medical personnel on standby 24/7
  • Medicine chest fully stocked with Viagra
  • What could be more enjoyable than listening to an 89-year-old man reminisce about his sexual conquests?
  • Prune juice is always on draft!