January 7, 2016
So…I won Powerball last night. Now you’re wondering, “why did you even come to work today?” I didn’t win the big prize—no one did. But I (along with 7,124,983 other people) won one of the smaller prizes. I got 1 number plus the Powerball. That’s 4 bucks! Take that, wife who says, “Why are you wasting your money on lottery tickets?” Now I’ve got money to buy a ticket for Saturday’s drawing, where the jackpot’s approaching $700 million, and that’s a lot of money…like get-away-with-murdering-your-first-wife money.