Signs You’re Not Going to Hook Up at a Holiday Party

December 18, 2015

It’s the last weekend before Christmas, and that means lots of holiday parties.  If you’re looking for love this holiday season, a party can be a great place to meet someone.  But if you recognize any of these 5 signs, things probably aren’t going to go you way in terms of a holiday hook-up.

  • You just passed out face-down in the eggnog
  • The cold sore on your mouth is redder than Rudolph’s nose
  • Your Yoda impression is even more embarrassing than Ted Cruz’s
  • You tried to sit on Santa’s lap — while he was on the john
  • You bet everyone twenty bucks that you can belch “O Tannenbaum”