Things You Don’t Want To Hear At Your Company Christmas Party

December 15, 2015

Attending your company’s Christmas party?  Have fun, watch your booze intake, especially around your boss and if you hear any of the things on this list, bail!

  • So this year, your Christmas bonus is:  The freedom to look for another job!
  • I don’t care what the company policy on sexual harassment says, I’m wearing my mistletoe belt buckle because it’s hilarious and everybody loves it!
  • This year, all the food is Michelle Obama-approved!
  • Is Bill Cosby the best choice to serve eggnog?
  • So . . . is everyone cool with getting their year-end bonus in Camel Cash?
  • The food was prepared exclusively by Chipotle employees with the stomach flu.
  • You brought your wife.  I brought my husband.  Let’s behave.
  • Don’t look now, but the IT guy is wasted and standing under the mistletoe, leering at you.
  • Well, I’m your boss and tonight you’ll get to see why they say I put the “bone” in bonus!
  • We’re skipping the White Elephant gift exchange because the word “White” has been deemed racially insensitive.