Pat Urban’s Blog

Pat Urban3

Reasons We Love Spring

Spring officially arrives today!  Find out why everyone is excited with this list of The Top Reasons We Love Spring. Baseball’s about to start.  And you’re about out of sleeping pills. “Game of Thrones” fans give those stupid “Winter is coming” jokes a rest. Spring rain makes the ground soft, which makes it much easier to dig…

Pat Urban3

Great Things About Being an Introvert

In honor of this being National Introverts Week, please enjoy this list of The Top Great Things About Being an Introvert. You can TELL people you’re an introvert, as opposed to having to say, “Please leave, you’re bothering me,” like the rest of us. I’ll give you five stars on Uber since you know to shut…

Pat Urban3

Overheard at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade

I’m trying to beat my SantaCon record for public intoxication Got my dates confused, sorry about the Puerto Rican flag! Either they dyed the river green, or there’s something psychedelic in this beer I’m still sobering up from New Year’s, thanks Grab anyone under 5 feet tall in case they’re a leprechaun I’m just waiting…

Pat Urban3

Tips for Having a Great Saint Patrick’s Day

Saint Patrick’s Day is tomorrow.  We want to help make sure you have an awesome time, so take a minute to check out this list of The Top Tips for Having a Great Saint Patrick’s Day. Don’t drink.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I tried. Instead of pinching someone not wearing green, go all-in and club them with a tire…

Pat Urban3

Things You Don’t Want to Hear from a Leprechaun

  I’ll give you the gold, but first you have to watch ALL the Leprechaun movies I dont grant wishes, but for a fee I can get your kid into Notre Dame What you call “catching” a leprechaun, the courts call “false imprisonment” Sorry, we changed the wish granting thing to rule out wishing for more wishes…

Pat Urban3

Albert Einstein Fun Facts

In honor of today being Albert Einstein’s Day, please enjoy this list of The Top Albert Einstein Fun Facts. Thanks to his 160 I.Q., Felicity Huffman didn’t have to bribe anyone to get him into college. He wrote his first essay on theoretical physics when he was 16.  Altogether, now:  NERD! He was born in Germany,…

Pat Urban3

Overheard at the Britney Spears Musical

Yes, we’re getting a Britney Spears jukebox musical that, in the hallowed footsteps of Mamma Mia! and Head Over Heels, isn’t going to tell the story of her life, but instead use her music to fit a different plot. Here’s what we’re hearing: Wow, this is even better than the Tiffany musical Can you set a head-shaving meltdown…

Pat Urban3

Things You Shouldn’t Do at a Zoo

A woman was attacked by a jaguar at an Arizona zoo when she leaned over an enclosure barrier while trying to take a selfie.  So let’s put that on the list of The Top Things You Shouldn’t Do at a Zoo. Hop over the wall into the wolf enclosure and try to dance with them. Try…

Pat Urban3

Things You Didn’t Know About Daylight Saving Time

Since we started Daylight Saving Time yesterday, it’s a good opportunity for this list of The Top Things You Didn’t Know About Daylight Saving Time. Benjamin Franklin supposedly proposed it as a way to conserve candles.  And also, to have more daylight to look for hookers. It’s the most useless day on the U.S. calendar that…

Pat Urban3

Rejected Madea Movie Sequels

Madea Mia! Madea Goes to Guantanamo Madea: Ragnarok A Madea-Oops, Ran Out of Ideas The Lego Madea Movie Madea Poppins Madea and the Worn-Out Premise Mad Madea Beyond Thunderdome A Madea Purim Madea vs. Predator