Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Kids on Father’s Day

Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Kids on Father’s Day

 

  • I’m waiting until I hear from AncestryDNA

  • Mom told us everything

  • Can the prison guards hear what we say on these phones?

  • I’m spending the day with the UPS guy instead

  • I wanted to give you this card while you were still sober

  • I’m doing a one-person show about how you raised me

  • Say, is my old room still available?

  •  I’m going to need you to co-sign some loan papers

  • Can you and mom appear as character witnesses?

  • Great brunch, but I seem to have misplaced my credit card

  • You forgot to erase your browser history

  • You’re almost like a father to me