Thoughts of the New Royal Baby

Meghan Markle spat out her Sex Trophy on Monday and the little guy already has a lot on his mind.  Here are The Top Things the New Royal Baby is Thinking.

  • I’m a black ginger?!?  Thanks, genetics.

  • I just made a stinky in my diaper.  Sorry.  That’s a Top Thing Queen Elizabeth is Thinking.

  • Close the drapes.  I’m tired of looking at the unwashed masses who pay my bills.

  • I can’t wait until I get picked up by Grandpa Charles . . . and then barf on his shoulder.

  • Let me get this straight:  I need SIX of you d-bags to die before I get the throne?

  • Make sure dad doesn’t get drunk and dress me like a Nazi.

  • Have you seen my social media mentions?  I’m bigger than Kylie Jenner!

  • I hereby issue a 12-year spoiler ban on “Avengers: Endgame”“Game of Thrones”, and anything else I’m too young to watch yet.

  • Please, don’t let me inherit Grandpa’s ears.

  • The nurse awoke me from my slumber.  Execute her at once!

  • Whoops!  I just “Brexited” in my diaper!

  • Why would I want to be king of a country that gave the world Simon Cowell and Chris Martin?

  • Saw a pic of my grandpa in America.  Hope the redneck gene isn’t dominant.

  • So as far as I can tell, I don’t have to do crap the rest of my life except show up in public from time to time.