Things You Don’t Want to Hear at a Public Pool

 

  • You on the jet-ski! No splashing!

  • The lifeguard just offered me a shot of Southern Comfort

  • Can you tell I’m peeing right now?

  • Don’t worry about catching anything, this pool is 95% hydrogen peroxide

  • How long has that dude been floating face down?

  • They won’t let me bring my toaster in the pool if it’s plugged in

  • I’m going in-where’s the soap and shampoo?

  • Since when are lawn darts not a pool toy?

  • Bathing suit, underwear… what’s the difference?

  • The EPA and the CDC are fighting over who should clean this up